Drunk n truths

It's almost 3am in the morning and I just watched the Chung-Li movie for the first time.... OMG mega pissed! First off she didn't even have her hair in the pigtails, nor did she wear her outfit, Two this bitch wasn't even remotely Asian I swear she got more American as she grew up WTF!! Oh man mega disappointment... On to other news, had a drunk heart to heart with my Onii-san Jordan, good times... Hung out with Rod, Jordan, and Koori... Got drunk...^_^ I love my niggaz... Talk to Hinote through text...-roles eyes- I told him how I felt and I got a "fuck you then" note, that I didn't curse, call him names, disrespect him, or anything negative of insulting at all... I was just being honest...Something tells me tomorrow I'ma have to hear shit but I honestly don't care for more reasons than one.... He showed me how much he cared about me, my outlook on love must be different than the guys I'm fuckin with cause if someone told you, "I loved you more back in the summer" (09) I'd be asking "what's wrong with me now how did I change", and "what can I do to make things better." being the fact that I told him the relationship we had didn't feel like true love, wth did you want me to do keep it to myself? Tch, isn't that what YOU get MAD at me for? You proved to me how you felt, you can't hold your anger for conversation you blow up at me like a overly pissed teenager... I swear you proved to me that everyone is right... I trusted you, don't like your own test played on you to freakin bad.



I won't lie it hurt but, pain is something we all feel and we get over. I done on this empty chase of happiness and love, I'm going to let it come to me... I want to be loved unconditionally, and not for you to find stupid reason why you "love" someone else. I'm done with reckless bullshit, I can't handle it anymore. I'm about to be nineteen, and I need to start acting my age and stop accepting things in my life that don't need to be there. I'm glad I didn't let myself fall madly in love with you, as much I do love and care for you I'll do it from afar.

You're absolutly right Hikari-chan loves you unconditionally, but she's had more time with you than I have, she accepts you for who you are, I guess I can't. -shrugs- Blame it all on me, whatever helps you sleep at night but in the end you and I both know the truth.

I'll say it now, I love you Hinote... but I've learned to love myself more... I know what I deserve...

In other news, I'm still looking for a job birthdays right around the corner and well I'm broke. U__U Techfest is going to be to hype with everyone I invited to spend with me, I can't wait!! ^____^ sadly enough yet again on one of my birthday I'm going to be alone, (not technically) its just everytime my birthday roles around I'm always single... and it sucks. I wanna cuddle up and watch a movie, eat with the person I love or something... Never had the chance... I guess that's a day I look forward to... I guess I have to accept being alone (relationship wise) and just wait my turn... can't rush the flow.



Well everyone, I'm still drunk and I'm about to pass out. Love you guys <3 ^___^