A new path.

It's been about 2 days sense I've talk to my spouses, and well the way it looks like they don't to much have anything to say to me. I understand completely though, these last two days aren't something I'd wanna relive. Yesterday was annoying and, the day before that was pretty much the same. I've heard these 2 days that I'm to soft spoken, I accept thing to much and I don't say how I feel. I mean true enough I don't but, hurt, angry, upset, or any other emotion I shrug off. Unlike most I have to be in that emotion DEEP to portray it. As of late I've been even better at hiding how I feel, but my main emotion I have now, is annoyance, and depression you could say.

I think I need to start hanging around more happy people, most of my friends are cool , and are mostly guys. I dunno what it is, as of late I feel like I don't fit in, that I need something new. I dunno, I love my family, Will, Martell, Porchia, Jordan, Kris, Lauren, and Rico but they have life all map'd out and the make me feel foolish to make mistakes. Like is dating Flame and Hikari really a bad choice? I mean I love him, I love her but the only person that's said they haven't cared from the beginning was Jordan, it a constant hassle everyday. Besides Will, Martell, Jordan, Lauren and Kris I to much to don't care what other people have to say about it.

So even after all of this, I try talking to my "husband" and well he's pissed off being I'm at fault for whatever reasons I care not name. I don't know what to do at this point apologize, like that would cut it. I'm at a lost and really don't know which way to go, I mean eh.... I guess this is life and I live a strange one. I just hope today I don't have to hear nobodies shit, cause I really can't take it well the people that matters anyway, everyone else can say what they want, I couldn't care less if I tried.

Things seem so different, or am I the one changing...?