Life has been sucked out of my still living body, I walk the streets cold and distant... Life seems so much more meaningless if you don't have a purpose... School and my education I'll continue, but other things like friends, family, love, happiness... seems real irrelevant to life to me. I have upside to me being alone... So many upsides.
I won't have to hear I'm a fuck up all the times, or have to deal with being "roasted" just for the simple fact I'm around and its fun to everyone when I'm clearly out of whatevers going on. Quit is alovely thing to me right now, I won't even talk on the phone anymore.. All I do is text...
Hikari's been here for me through this rough time but, I feel like when she gets back home around Hinote... It'll stop which is why I'm not getting attached to the feeling... I never get to keep it for long... Sitting here in my room with nothing but darkness surrounding me I sigh... I forgot Hinote has my Xbox... I'll just send someone after it... I don't wanna be anywhere near his aura, house, body, mind, belongings, non of it.
I kinda envy Hikari... She's in passionate love... I remember what that felt like... but Hinote isn't going anywhere like mine did... She can believe in marriage, happiness, children, all of it....
I flip back and forth like cards... I'm no longer who I use to be...
I haven't even been able to RP or write... I feel in a slump.. everything consists of love and I being honest just wanna run away from the folly emotion... It brings nothing but pain... weither be a lover or family....
Anyone you love can and will hurt you... that's a promise.
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