My thoughts at the moment

Is in class, still thinking about the last 2 days. I'm still upset about the situation, but I guess I'll have to move on. Time stands still for no1, looking back I still can remember things that made me happy. I was so close to being happy I could smell it, but once again it was snatched away from me, now I think that once he lets me go someone body will finally pick me up, now that I don't want to be. I'm so done with, love and relationships I don't know what to do with myself. Talking to you today made me feel less of a loser, and lonely but I still feel second.

I'm just thinking, how would you feel if someone else came in a decided they wanted my heart for themselves, and they were going to get it.

I once again feel like an abandoned toy, but I try to continue to realize its not your fault. As much as you say you want me, its clear you aren't ready for any kinda relationship , unless you got back to "her" but is that what you want? Or are you trying to find way around that cause you still want a shot at me?

All of these questions I want an answer too, I'll never ask because I'm not sure if I'll get an honest answer.

Honestly hasn't been a key point in any "lover" I've had, neither is a sensitive spot for hurting me. All of them really never gave to shits of a fuck, ya know?

I still care about you, but I can't care about you all at the same time. You call me heartless, but no1 likes to be in pain, so they have no choice but to be heartless.

Should I take everyone's advice and make you chose?

.....>.>....

That's not fair, I wouldn't want someone doing that to me why would I do that to you.

It would be so much easier if I was just selfish ya know? Just took you and ran with you with my tongue out... Childish I know but, I can't help it. *pouts*


I doubt you'll ever know how I feel, nor if I explained would you get it so this is all in vain, but it feels good to rant. I've got more weed I plan to smoke after school, I'ma need it because I'm starting to think to hard, and 'Chi' is starting to miss someone a little more then I would like her too.

What can you do?

She has a connection with him, she would know best wouldn't she?


-____-

I'll never understand I guess, but I don't wanna half a stalker all because of a bond being broken again DF wouldn't like that very much, he almost went crazy last time when it happened THIS wouldn't throw him over the edge, and that's a scary thought.

Should I keep him as a friend, same relationship, or move on?

-sighs-

I hate when I have to decided, cause I never make the right choice, or so I think.